RIP Jackson

Whew! Ever have one of those days that ends waaaaay different than you thought it would?

Our lovable little furball of will and energy is no longer with us. He was hit by a car around noon on Saturday. He was gone mere moments after impact. Less than an hour and a half later he was wrapped in his favorite blankets and buried with his favorite stuffed toy as we had a graveside memorial in our backyard. [Attn: City Officials... not really. This is all just a big metaphor.] We still kept our plans to celebrate Cindy's birthday, but there was a palpable fog in our day.

As expected, tears were shed and hugs were in great demand.

Lucas' questions and observations were wrenching:
"We should pray for him to be alive."
"Can I blow in his ear to make sure he's dead?"
"I'm all done crying now."
"Dad, today is kind of weird huh?"
And many, many more.

Then there was the indelible image of Ethan's face when he heard the news. He went from mouth-agape shock to a silent cry of (what may be the first time for him) legitimate heartbreak.

If you are the praying type, we'd sure appreciate them! If not, we'll take your good thoughts. Our heart for the boys is that in a very real and tangible way, they would experience the love and comfort of Jesus Christ. And that God would draw them to Him. We shared with them God's promise that:

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

We believe this to be true, and that God is faithful to word.

I'm not sure this is doctrinally Biblical, but I like to think Jackson is in whatever doggie heaven all dogs who love Jesus go to and he is having a blast running around with all his new best dog friends and peeing on every tree he sees.

The Los Garcias are really going to miss him, but we are really, really grateful we got to play with him for a while.

Happy Birthday Cindy

Dear Lord Jesus,
I want to thank You for my smokin' hot wife Cindy Garcia. Thank you for the way she continues to reflect Your kindness, grace and forgiveness. I am honored that she has let You knit our hearts together. Thanks for the way she gently reminds me that we need a date! And I really appreciate the way she faithfully loves and serves our family. She is pretty awesome Lord, thanks for making her! Please give her a great birthday!
--Sincerely, Joe Garcia

Ethan sez

The following was written to Lucas from big brother Ethan on his homemade birthday card:

"Dear Lucas,
You are the best brother enyone could ever have in his life.
You are very kind. I like the silly games you make.
Life coud not be the same without you. You are very fun.
I like you very much. I like that you beleve Jesus. Have fun turnig nine[?].

P.S. have fun with your present.
Ethan Garcia"

Cindy Sez

Cindy:

"Why is Ethan so dramatic?"

Cindy 30 minutes earlier (to Ethan):

"You will never be allowed in the front yard again! EVER!!!"

Cindy sez:

"I'm Mexican now, but I wasn't until I married your dad."

My 3 favorite Birthday Presents

1. My Wife Cindy

Look at this woman. She had pneumonia all week, but she still managed to make it out of the house and join the boys and I in Santa Cruz. You know how after you've been with a person for a while you just naturally drift apart? I DON'T!!! I've never understood how that happens to people. Even after almost 12 years of marriage, Cindy still fascinates me. It may be because I'm kinda slow. It may be because she's all kinds of awesome. Probably it's a little of both. Either way, I thank God for this beautiful woman. She challenges me, she calls me on my #@&$, she supports me, and laughs at my jokes. And as long as we've been together, whenever I see her, the Holy Spirit still puts these words in my heart..."Hubba hubba!"

Which leads me to...

2. "The Adventures of SuperDad" by Ethan Garcia

This is the first volume of SuperDad's adventures written and drawn by Ethan J. Garcia. It is with great pride that I tell you: I am SuperDad! That's right, I have my very own comic book! In this riveting tale of courage and heroism, SuperDad saves a family from a burning house. The actions of SuperDad reflect almost exactly what I would do in saving people from a fire. Right down to the cape. I am so jazzed to see Ethan explore his gift of storytelling. I hope to see more stories come out of this little guy in the near future.

3. My Rechargeable Battery Station

A wise philosopher once said "Parents just don't understand". I think the Fresh Prince might be right. I'm not sure what it was about her baby turning 39 that screamed "I must get him something so he can finally recharge his batteries!", but clearly now is the time. Sure, it lack the zing of a Blu-Ray player, but it beats a bottle of vitamins. Mostly, the ranking of this gift places so high because of the lady it came from. She raised me as best she could, in a loving and caring environment, and sacrificed a whole lot of dough so I could get edumacated. As I grow older, I find myself more and more confused about some of her decisions. Especially when it comes to gift giving. "Wow... so this Barbecue stove heats meals with newspaper?" or "Really, a 'Baby Can Read' gift set? Um... you know he's 5, right?" But at the end of the day, she loves me and my family. And who doesn't need to recharge their batteries every now and again?

Cool Things in 2006

One of the cool things we did last year was pack up the family and head down to the Magic Kingdom. The Los Garcias were joined by our godsons Isaiah & Joshua and also Grandma Susie. It was very, very hot and very, very humid. And we had to put in a new air condtioner on the way down. Tempers were lost, and a few tantrums were thrown, but thankfully the kids did great!

Once we were there we had a really great time. Ethan loved Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters. Isaiah (11 yrs) loved California Screamin'. Joshua (10 yrs) liked riding the Matterhorn. And Lucas literally spent 45 minutes splashing around the creek in Redwood Creek Trail Challange. Both Garcia boys went "Ice Cream Man" crazy whenever a train or monorail went by. We all had heaps of fun at Buzz's Astro Blasters, which is like one huge submersive video game. As you can see by the top photo, even Grandma got into shooting the snot out of Zurg.

Disneyland is cool.

Thanksgiving memories

Overall we had a great TG. Cindy once again hit the ball out of the park and created an incredible feast for all of our family. The crowd was made up of mostly her kin, with just a couple of brown folks from my side. The highlight of the day was provided by the oldest of my very own flesh and blood, Ethan.

First a little back story. Now this is entirely my opinion and I may be completely wrong about this, but this is my blog so here it goes. I love Cindy's family. Her parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles are generous and kind, and have given us more than we could have ever expected. But you get more than 2 of them in a room together and I seem to become a conversational ninja, disappearing into the shadows. It's like they can see me out of the corner of their eye but there are brighter (and more familiar) people to focus on, so that's where the chit-chat flows. Throw in a newly engaged brother and his fiancee, and I'd have to sing "Memory" in a cat suit to get any decent conversation.

Cindy had the perfect solution. Everybody at the adult table (the kids were set up in the other room) was given 3 corn kernels. Whenever anyone held up a kernel, they would be given the courtesy of undivided attention as they shared what they were thankful for. And it worked like a charm.

"I'm thankful for"...
- My upcoming vacation
- the love I found in him
- Cousin Selma who the doctors found, does not have cancer
- my grand daughter Amy's pregnancy
- aunt Beth's giant garage where I can park my RV
- that she finally moved in...

All of these and more were shared by the family as I patiently waited for my turn. In the midst of all the thankfulness, Ethan scampered in from the kids table and went directly to the bathroom in the hall. Apparently well within earshot of the adults. Finally it was my turn. I would have my share of the conversation pie. All eyes were on me, so I cleared my throat to begin.

"Well, I really want to--"

"I'M THANKFUL FOR MY FAMILY!!!" came the small voice from the still open bathroom door.

After the collective "Awwwwwww" from the table died down, I started again. "Ahem. Adorable, really. As I was saying--"

"AND I'M THANKFUL THAT WHEN I POOP, MY TUMMY FEELS BETTER!"

The roar from the table was deafening, but he continued undeterred.

"AND...AND...POOPS ARE GOOD TO GET OUT OF OUR BODIES!"

It took a good 10 minutes for the laughter to die down. I felt a lot like Charlie Brown as I sighed to myself "Good grief, even my own son steals my spotlight!"

Anyway, it all worked out ok. Eventually I was able to share and everyone was very kind. We ended the evening by watching "Mission Impossible 3" while nursing our turkey hangover. All in all, a good time.

He was a good idea

My boy Lucas turned 2 yesterday. Above are a couple of pics from his birthday party. He seemed to enjoy all the family, the pinata, the cake, the bounce house and tons of "Cars" memorabillia (graciously provided by Uncle Jeff). Yes, a fun time was had by all.

Seems like just yesterday (Ethan had just turned 2) when Cindy and I decided we would plan to have another child. Planning a child was an entirely new concept (to me anyway), but after praying about it we went ahead with said plan. About 3 months into the pregnancy I remember looking at my family and thinking, "Waaaiiit a minute!! Is this a good idea?!?" I really liked where we were at. I really loved my wife. I really loved Ethan. A lot. Just being around them filled me with joy. Did I have enough love in me for one more? Turns out I did. Or rather, God gave me more.

So about 6 months ago, I was at the table feeding Lucas. He finished his dinner, got down from his chair, and wanted to sit in my lap so he could finish mine. I remember holding him and thinking, "Wow, he was a good idea!"

There's no easy way out

I think it was a week ago today.

My stepmom and I needed to get out of the house, so we took up my brother's invitation to go over to his house. His wife is a pretty good cook, and my brand new niece was there, so it was a no brainer. My youngest brother was there with his fiance too. It was a welcome distraction.

We talked about my dad, the memorial service, who would be speaking at the service, all the stuff we needed to talk about.

Then the conversation changed. I'm not sure who brought it up, but someone put it out there. I'm talking about the wonder that is...the Rocky IV Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. And as soon as it was mentioned, one of us began singing (scatting?) the drum intro to Robert Tepper's masterpiece "There's No Easy Way Out". Suddenly another jumped in with the driving bass hook that carries the listener to the first lyric, "We're not indestructible/Baby baby guess that true..." (you probably know the rest, so I won't write it out here). All while images of angst-ridden Rocky driving his Lambroghini through uptown Philly, remembering his fallen friend/rival Apollo completely threw us back to 1987. Turns out each of us has the R4 soundtrack on a different form of media. Myself, I have it on vinyl. Each of us agreed that not only are there no bad songs on the disc, but each song holds up incredibly well. And we will pass this album on to our children's children.

I should probably mention that it was only the Garcia boys that showed any kind of passion during this part of the conversation. For the most part, our little tangent was met with blank stares from those waiting for a point. We were also the only ones who remembered that "Ya sie byaht! YAH SIE BYAHT!!!" is Russian for "I fight for me. FOR ME!!!"

I've not been particularly close with my brothers. I think all of us want to make it a point for that to change. It was good for me to experience that moment where, for whatever reason, we were all on the same page, excited about the same thing. I look foward to more of those moments.

Sylvester Stallone, bringing brothers together.

Be it ever so humble

It's been a crazy month or so. The business with my dad had been going on for about a month before I was able to get up there to help. And by help I mean stand around until someone asks for something. I probably felt more useless than I was. At least I hope so...

I was gone all of last week, seeing my dad's last days, being a support for my stepmom, planning for the memorial service. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. It's just that I'm not the type who really, really likes doing stuff. Cat-like in my relaxation am I. So I've been a bit tired lately.

I was more than ready to come home again. Missed my wife, missed my sons fiercely. It was really good to get home and feel like I was home again. Even liked going back to work, because it was a routine I was used to. Actually, I liked going back to work because I get to drive around a lot. Fix some phones. Feeling useful.

Anyway, I still feel really tired. Ususally sleeping isn't a problem for me. Every time I blinked, I used to run the risk of falling asleep. And, I could sleep through most natural disasters. Not so much now.

Also, everyone else has been sick this week. From my 1 yr old son to my 93 yr old grandpa (he lives next door), they've all been leaking through various orifices all week! My poor wife. My poor sons. My poor mom. ugh! I think a big part of me just wants them well so they can take care of me...hmm. But I know I'm still a bit skittish as I watch them all be sick. Just want to be sure they get well again. I'd really like some well people to hang out with.

Well that didn't take long...

So yesterday was my dad's memorial service. Not too bad. The thing about Mexican, or Latin services is that there are invariably family there that you swear you've never seen before. Yet somehow, they know you.

My dad's family is pretty large. (One family I met were part of a clan in which 13 kids came from the same woman!). Many of them closely resemble my dad. At the wake following the memorial service, there were countless times that I'd see a guy out of the corner of my eye and I'd think "Oh, here comes dad. It's about time!" Simultaneously, the guy would come into focus and the realization that I was at my dad's wake would hit me, and I'd just think, "Dang!"

I was only awake maybe 12 minutes yesterday morning before I found myself neck deep in a family secret and was myself sworn to secrecy. The combination of wanting to focus on the afternoon's service and the "eeww"-factor made it easy not to think about it for most of the day. So on the way home from the wake when I was finally able to tell my wife about it (1- I had spent far too many days apart from her this week, including this one. 2- There are very few secrets I keep from her. And the ones I do keep she knows about. Mostly they're things shared in confidence when people are seeking counsel.), we spent a great deal of time wondering out loud "What?!? How...When...But didn't they..Are you sure? Why?" before finally resolving it was best not to think about it. A task that proved difficult if not impossible. It was soon after that when I thought that the best thing to do was call dad, because if anybody could help put things in perspective it was him. It took a good 2 or 3 minutes before I realized why this wouldn't work out.

This is one thing I will miss most about my dad. I can kind of work most things out on my own. If I can't, I have a pretty good support system around me who can help. But when things are just so far out there that I have no frame of reference for what to do, that's when it time to call dad. He had a way of taking the most bizarre things life threw at me seem manageable. Or he would tell me I was already on the right path, and that I already knew that.

God, I'm going to miss him. Big goofball.


UPDATE: I should mention that the afore-mentioned "secret" had nothing to do with my dad, my stepmom, or anyone in my immediate family. Just a cousin acting independent (and foolishly timed) of the week's events.